Deserted Mistakes
by MonkeyTrouble
Summary: When Bella sees a certain wizard she almost can't resist to... well, eat him. Immortal life is no picnic, that's for sure. Warning ahead for a twisted out-of-the-normal relationship, one HP character's death and OOC.
1. Chapter 1

**_Deserted Mistakes_**

**A/N: This is rated T just in case, but future chapters will definitely be rated M. This is just a short beginning I felt I needed to upload, it will get longer and more interesting along the way...^^**

* * *

I looked at Edward, studied his beautiful face as usual. His eyes were closed and he hummed my lullaby with a smile on his lips. I buried my face on his chest, wanting to be with him forever. And for the first time, I _knew_ that I was going to.

"Are you okay?" whispered Edward, stroking my hair.

"Thirsty…" I answered and automatically licked my lips. I constantly had the need to hunt nowadays, never getting enough of the breathtaking red liquid that tasted better than any candy I had ever eaten. Edward had held his promise just as he said he would, he hadn't leaved my side for a single minute just to make sure I wouldn't eat anything… _unvegetarishly._ "Can't we go hunting?"

Edward shook his head, his eyes full with pain. He playfully tangled his fingers in my hair, placing his arm firmly against my waist.

"You must learn how to resist…" he mumbled, leaning closer to kiss my forehead.

"Please", I begged but Edward only held me tighter.

"I'll still your hunger", he said with a smile on his face.

He kissed me lightly on my lips, his tongue searching its way through my mouth. Slowly he rolled me over so I was lying on top of him, feeling every inch of him underneath me. My hands made a mess of his hair, trying to pull his head, his lips, even closer to mine.

"I love you", I mumbled and pushed my body closer to his. Edward responded by stroking his big hands on my back, moving down to the waistband of my trousers.

Suddenly it felt like my body was hit by a lightning. It was a feeling unable to explain, almost as if my body was torn inside out. My nose had caught the smell of something wonderful, something so delicious that my head started to spin. . I couldn't think clearly, all I wanted was to sink my teeth deeply to the animal's flesh, tasting it…

I acted on impulse, getting up too fast for Edward to react, and ran out of the small tent that was our temporary home. I flew out in the woods, my senses alert, focusing on finding my food. It wasn't far away, I could feel it, and I got more and more excited. It couldn't be far now…

When I reached a small glade I stopped abruptly. In front of me stood my food, graciously bending down to tie his sneakers. The black, thick hair was shimmering in the sun that made its way through the thick woods. He couldn't be much older than I, eighteen or nineteen perhaps. He hadn't spotted me yet, but just seeing his back was enough for me to get crazy. He was like a breathtaking lollipop waiting to get licked.

I walked up to him with excitement pounding in my chest. My praised my body for moving so vigorous after my change, tripping and falling was no longer a part of my vocabulary. I snuck up close to the boy, ready to dig in to his flesh.

"No!"

A hand had gripped by wrist and pulled me safely away from the boy before shouting the word. Edward was pressing me against his body, doing everything to keep me away from my food.

"Let me go!" I roared, my heart started to spin because of the food refusal. I tried to break free but Edward was still stronger even though he had to fight a lot harder than our previous days.

What happened next was too bizarre to be real. Both Edward's and my body went numb and sank down to the ground, unable to move. My eyes looked up at the boy, his right arm was holding a wooden stick rose up in the air. My mouth was, figurative speaking of course, watering as the sight of him. A pair of round spectacles was sitting on his nose and he had a thin zigzagged scar on his forehead. I couldn't deny that he was hot – big muscles welled out from underneath his t-shirt. I could only imagine what he would taste like…

"Ginny!" cried the boy over his shoulder, "Ginny come here and hurry up! I think we've caught _two_ of them!"

To be continued... Please leave a comment!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I still haven't decided if this is going to be mostly a love story (cannon pairings in future chapters) or just focus on suspense. What do you think? Please leave a comment in the end, I'll really appreciate it!**

* * *

I couldn't move or talk. I could still feel though, and most importantly, smell. At the moment there was only one thing that mattered to me – the black haired boy. I _was_ going to eat him, no matter what.

The fact that I couldn't move made my plan so much harder. Panic started to rush through my body as I tried to break free but failed to do so. I had never experienced anything like this before, and panic mixed with desire wasn't a good combination. My head was still spinning and I couldn't think clearly. The boy stood above me, examining us with every fiber of his being.

_Enjoy life_, I thought greedy, _because as soon as I break loose, it will end._

I didn't care that it was murder, didn't care how carefully Edward had taken care and watched out for me, making sure I wouldn't even _see_ a human until I could resist my thirst more controllably. I had just experienced a whole new flavor of being a vampire that I completely loved. No wonder they hunted humans, it was like giving a child candy for the first time, you realize how wonderful life really can be.

In the corner of my eye I saw Edward rise beside me, he hadn't been numb for more than a few seconds before he could move again. He unhumanly quickly took two step forwards and snatched the wooden stick out of the boy's hand. The boy hadn't had a chance to react, suddenly he stood defenseless alone in the woods. A perfect victim…

" I hope you're a good spell maker", Edward said in a cold tone, "because if my girlfriend breaks free you will be dead in a couple of seconds."

"Who are you?" answered my dinner fiercely, without a hint of fear in his voice. His bright green eyes met Edwards in an angry gaze. "A vampire?"

"Lucky guess… _Wizard_."

My head started to spin even more from their strange conversation. What was Edward talking about? And why wasn't I able to _move_ when he could?

"Expelliarmus!" a high and loud voice screamed through the forest, and the wooden stick swiveled away from Edwards hand and landed in the palm of a short, red-haired girl standing in the other side of the glade. She screamed something else then, pointing her own stick at Edward, but he was too fast for her. He disappeared only to show up on another spot in the glade a second later. I knew what he was doing, he was running too fast for the human eye to see, confusing them by circling around them, being close by in one second and gone in the next. They boy and the girl shouted and pointed with their wands without success. They couldn't catch Edward and it almost looked comically.

Under normal circumstances I would have been shocked about what I just had experienced, I'd never believed in magic. When two persons suddenly start to perform witchcraft right under your nose you get a little shocked, right? Now however, I only thought about how strong and perfect Edward was that managed to escape from them, teasing with my dinner. I started to doubt my own believes about the magic thing, sure, it sounded crazy, but Edward had called the boy a wizard himself and I believed _him_. I always do.

The girl screamed in horror when the boy got knocked down on the ground by Edward and he held both their sticks – well, _wands_, I guess was the proper word – in his hand. I smiled and would have cheered on him if I'd been able too. I tried to break free another time but it was simply impossible.

"Harry!" the girl exclaimed and bent down to check on him, "are you okay?"

"Now we are going to do this my way", Edward said calmly, focusing his eyes on the boy who slowly rose to his feet, moaning in pain. To my relief he wasn't bleeding, I'm pretty sure I would have gone crazy if his blood would run out of his body, only the _thought_ of his fresh blood made me tingle with exaggeration.

"I'm going to leave those wands back to you", Edward continued, "and you are going to release my girl and then get the hell out of here the fastest you can. She's a newborn and still very… _affected_ of human blood. I don't want her to do anything she'll regret later."

"Please don't hurt us", begged the girl. She looked like one of those girls I would have considered getting friends with when I was human. Her red curls danced around her shoulders and she looked very nervous without her wand.

"We are not here to fight", assured the boy, taking her hand.

"We don't want to hurt you, just being left alone", Edward said. "No this isn't a trick", he sighed, I guess he was reading their thoughts. "Just get out of here and don't come back, you've caused a lot of damage to Bella already."

His voice stiffed a little before it continued, his beautiful lips pressed together.

"And I suggest you go to La Push if you want to find the werewolves."


	3. Chapter 3

**_Chapter 3_**

**A/N: I want to thank the Hannalizer for her great ideas to this story and give her credits for most of the part of this chapter which she wrote for me. My inspiration is back on again! Please leave a comment so we know what you think!^^**

* * *

I was lying on my back, staring at the ceiling of the tent. The rain was flooding down outside and neither one of us wanted to go hunting. I was thirsty though, tried not to feel the urge for blood. Edward played teasingly with my hair, stroking it over my face and along my ears so it tickled.

"Please say something", he begged, "I can't stand it when you are like this, lying still without speaking. You look like you are about to die."

"Maybe I am," I said indifferently without taking my eyes of the ceiling.

Edward rolled over, laying himself on top of me, making me meet his gaze.

"I know it's hard", he said, his eyes sad, "but you have to try."

I sighed, mumbled something he couldn't make out and closed my eyes.

"Help me", I said, "help me to think about something except… blood."

Edward smiled wickedly and his eyes sparkled, "I will."

There was only one thing that could distract me from thinking about food, and it was Edward. He bent forward and kissed me on my lips, first softly and then I answered with deepening the kiss and meeting his tongue with my own.

"Forget", he ghosted over my mouth.

He slowly pulled my sweater off and kissed my white, marble skin. His tongue felt warm against my skin, how could I ever have imagined him cold? He was just as hot as my skin was, and the shivers he gave me had nothing to do with body temperature.

He suddenly tarred my bra apart, and the garment fell beside me, in shreds. I giggled, a human boy would never be able to do that, but my giggles quieted abruptly when he gave attention to my breasts. I suddenly felt very naked and tried to move my arms to my chest to cover myself up, but Edward stopped me and buried his face in the soft skin. I felt his tongue working me up, a warm sensation spread across my body, and the naked-feeling got muddled and I just wanted to feel him more.

Just as I had so long ago, when he kissed me the first times, I searched for his face and kissed him deeply. He took a quivering breath and I pressed his chest against mine and moved my legs around him, squeezing his thighs with my feet.

He's breathing was getting deeper now and I felt him harden. He pressed himself against me, trying to rub himself against my body. He wanted me. Badly. I could tell, because of the yearning I so clearly could see in his eyes.

I moved my hands downwards to unbuckle his jeans, but unaware of my strength, I accidentally ripped the fabric apart. He looked at me, his eyes wary.

"Are you sure you want to do this? We don't need to do this today, it's okay if you want to wait..."

"Edward," I said and took his face between my hands, "stop fuzzing about, I want this, and I want it now."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Bella, are you sure you are sure?"

"Oh, God...," I sighed and kissed him again, caressing his back and making him relax. "Stop worrying... It's okay..."

"Okay," he breathed, and then he grinned and ripped our other clothes apart, but a bit more smoothly than I had.

I wanted him with all my being and I didn't feel naked, I just wanted to complete myself with him. I wasn't whole, I wasn't myself. He had removed me from myself and I needed him to melt together with me, to complete me. It felt like I hadn't wanted anything more in my whole life.

So I pressed myself to him and he reached his hand down and guided his limb to me. It didn't hurt, maybe it would have hurt if I was a human, but I wasn't. And I craved for him – wanting him more – and he gave me more and we melted together until we both reached full ecstasy.

Afterward, we closed our eyes, slowly becoming two beings again. The sensation of calm and satisfaction was written all over his face when I opened my eyes.

"I love you, Edward," I whispered, but those words would never be enough.

The feeling of lust and satisfaction slowly slipped away, and when that happened my hunger increased. The horrible thirst was soon burning in my throat again.

Edward held me tight and securely to his chest and played loosely with my hair.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked and kissed my forehead.

"Blood."

Edward sighed at the comment.

"Harry's blood," I said.

Edward held me tighter, as if he was afraid that I would run away hunting the wizard that very instant.

"He's leaving", Edward whispered in my ear. "I listened in and apparently the two of them had a fight. They're here because they think their son has the same genes as the werewolves in La Push or something."

I bit my lip, sighing of the thought of my dinner vanishing.

"What's the girl's doing?"

"She's on her way to La Push. Alone."

Suddenly a new plan began to develop in my head. If I couldn't have him, I should at least get _her_. I wanted human blood, I craved it, I _needed_ it. She was my food and I was thirsty.

"Maybe we should go hunting after all," Edward mumbled when he saw the desire in my eyes.

I nodded silently and we got dressed and went out. It was still raining a little and I pushed the hood of my sweater on my head and caught the smell of a deer. It went fast, I almost felt satisfied when we were done, on our way back to the tent. I walked steadily, not needing Edward to catch me from falling. Being a vampire definitely had certain advantages. And there were other benefits as well…

Suddenly I felt it, a different smell, the smell of human blood. It was _she,_ I was positive and broke into a run at that very instant. She wasn't far away and I ran the fastest I could, afraid that Edward would catch up and preventing me. Once again I let my senses take over and ran after my human dish to still the fire in my throat.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Chapter 4_**

**A/N: A million thanks to the Hannalizer who helped me with this chapter!**

* * *

I ran through the dense woods, nostrils flaring as I searched for the girl's scent. Her blood smelled tingling and fresh like caramel and summer rose – mixed together in a very pleasurable way. Suddenly I caught sight of her, her red hair visible behind the old trees. She was sitting down on a stone covered with moss, her shoulders slumped and head hung low. I slowed down, moving closer to her with soft steps. To my surprise I realized that she was crying, small sobs where coming out of her mouth. I guess she was sad about the fact that her boyfriend left her. Well so was I, I clenched my fist at the thought of the delicious boy. She didn't know how unlucky she was – if he was still around I would have taken his life instead of hers.

I licked my lips, ready to strike. At least I would end her misery. Lithely I snuck up behind her, gently stroking away her hair from her neck. The sobs quietened and she slowly turned her head around. In a millisecond I saw her eyes widened as she recognized me – but she had no time to react or defend herself. I slapped the wand away from her hand and it fell uselessly to the ground. I grabbed her arms in a fiercely grip and bent forward to her neck, the smell of her blood made me lightheaded.

I would have bit her. I would have bit her and sucked every last drop of blood out of her body, leaving her cold and empty on the ground but I never got the chance. Edward was suddenly there, pushing me away with his strong, beautiful arms. I landed hard on my back on the ground with Edward on top of me.

"No!" I screamed, struggling to get free, "let me go!"

Edward didn't listen, he held me in a firm grip and turned around to the human. "Ginny, wasn't it? Are you ok?"

"Why do you care?" I roared, "she's going to die anyway!"

Ginny jerked, staring at me with a sudden epiphany in her eyes.

"You were going to kill me." It was a statement, not a question.

"I still am", I said through gritted teeth, feeling how my senses had taken over me. "I'm going to rip you open and suck all blood out of your body…"

"Bella stop it", Edward said with a firm voice. He turned to speak to Ginny again. "Listen, I'm very sor..."

He didn't have a chance to finish. Ginny had reached for her wand and thrown another fascinating spell at me.

I felt myself going numb, unable to move once again. My eyes were the only part of me that still worked.

Ginny looked at me and Edward with a wicked smile and she suddenly brought back terrifying memories of when Victoria hunted me and tried to kill me. But I was sure this red head didn't have the same intentions...

Edward moved quickly and aimed for Ginny, but she was prepared and flicked her wand and screamed some weird word. He came to a halt in front of her. I could only see his back, so I was not sure what he meant by stopping, or what she had done to him. I wished I could see his face. His stance didn't look threatening. Ginny smirked and looked at me, her eyes were full of spite.

The next thing that happened was shocking and inexplicable: Edward kissed her. He kissed her and threw his arms around her and seemed to give her a passionate kiss. A kind of kiss he never would give me out in public.

Edward turned around and said:

"Bella, truth to be told... I really like humans, and you are just not human anymore."

I stared at him, my face probably looked indifferent, but inside a war was going on. I could actually feel my unbeating heart break. What was he doing?

Edward gave Ginny another long lasting kiss and when he finally broke away. I wanted to scream as he pulled of his sweater and tugged on Ginny's clothes. In an instant he had ripped them off and she stood there in nothing but her underwear. Edward's pants and boxers disappeared from his body as well and his naked, breathtaking abdomen moved closer to Ginny and his pale hand stroke her chin. As he kissed her neck he also undid her bra with his hands and she released herself from her panties.

I wasn't able to look away. I wanted to scream, to push Edward away and slap him in the face for doing this. Silent tears streamed down my cheeks, making my sight blurry.

Edward pushed Ginny down to the ground and laid himself on top of her, supporting his weight on his elbows. He kissed her mouth, her jaw line, the hollow in the base of her neck… She moaned in pleasure and pushed her hips against him, making him moan.

I felt like I was about to be sick, how could Edward do this? He wasn't even so cautious as he always was to me, his hands were everywhere on Ginny's body, snuggling down beneath her thighs. She placed her hands behind his neck and pulled him in to a kiss.

"Edward… you're so… wonderful", she slurred as their kiss grew more sloppy and greedy. His rock hard cock rested on her belly and she took it in her hand, jerking it gently. Edward groaned loud of her actions.

"Ginny! I've got to have you…"

I felt my hear being ripped apart and burst open as Edward pushed himself into her. She responded with keening sounds and he started to move in and out of her. She moaned in pure pleasure as he fastened the speed and _he_ certainly seemed to like it as well.

He pounded her harder and harder and for every thrust her screams grew louder and louder. Almost too loud…

Suddenly something cracked. I didn't understand what it was at first but Ginny suddenly let out a terrible scream and I realized that the sound had come from her inside. Edward was too rough on her, her poor human body couldn't take it. Another horrifying crack was heard and her pelvis was broken. She screamed but Edward didn't stop, instead it made him more furious and I could hear even more cracks and tears… Her loud voice hurt my ears but it didn't take long before for her to quieten, her mouth fell silent and her arms, which had been trying to push away Edward, fell powerless to the ground. She didn't move anymore.

.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Chapter 5_**

**A/N: Sorry that this chapter has taken forever to write. I considered to stop writing on this story but now I'm back on track again!**

* * *

Edward stopped his thrusting suddenly, slipping out of Ginny with a disturb look on his face. His lips trembled when looked at what he had done. Ginny lay lump on the ground, her face was forever frozen in a horrified look and her chest looked unnaturally flat, I guessed her ribs were broken.

Edward rose to his feet. It wasn't until then I noticed the blood. His private parts were covered in blood which was dripping and running down his thighs.

Suddenly I felt that I could move again and I pulled myself up to a sitting position, staring at Edward in horror. He turned around and met my gaze, seeing right into my soul and misery.

"It's not what it looks like", he said fast, his voice raspy and all fucked, "Bella it's not what you think."

"Not what I think?" I gasped incredulously.

"She put a spell on me, made me do those things." He drew his hand through his hair in frustration. "Damn it Bella, she cursed me!"

I shook my head and felt a single tear falling down my chin.

"Please!" His eyes begged for my forgiveness. "It wasn't _me_! It was like she was in my head."

"I saw it, it looked way too real for not being true. You liked it, you _wanted_ it!" I screamed, thinking that he had had the exact same desire in his eyes when he fucked Ginny that he always have when he make love to _me_.

"I didn't like it at all! I told you it wasn't for real, it meant nothing to me!"

"I don't believe you." I rose to my feet with ferocity.

"Bella, please-"

"I hate you!" I exclaimed, "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!"

A thousand thoughts were spinning around in my head and I couldn't think clearly. This was all so unreal – but it had happened, I had witnessed it myself. The only thought that I could make out was that I had to get away. I had to get away from Edward, away from his betrayal. I didn't let him explain anything more, I just turned around and ran straight through the woods as fast as I could.

I tore up the front door so violently so the hinges broke loose and fled inside the villa. The big living room where empty and I ran up the stairs in ultra speed. I opened the door to Alice's room a little more careful and stepped inside. She was leaning against the wardrobe and didn't wince when I entered.

"He won't follow you right now. He's decided to lay low and cut you some space." She looked at me with compassion. "Bella I'm so, so sorry."

I sank down on her sofa, too tired to even think. Alice sat down next to me and gave me a hug.

"I love him Alice!" I exclaimed. "I love him with every fiber of my being. How could he do such a thing?"

I couldn't get it. I felt just as I did when Edward left me when I was still human. Just _empty_.

"I don't know. I can't believe it either."

I rested my head against her shoulder. We sat so for a long while, not moving, not speaking, both of us occupied in our own thoughts.

* * *

He didn't show. Days passed by and I stayed with the Cullens, who'd become my family ever since I was changed. I mostly spent the days lingering in Alice's room, sitting by the window and apathetically looking out in the woods.

"Please, Bella, pull yourself together", Alice said one night with a concerned look on her face. "You have to get over this, you can't just sit around and act miserable."

"Yes I can."

She sighed and sat down next to me in the windowsill.

"Do you want me to talk to him about it?"

"No!" I exclaimed, "I just want to forget about him. Forget what he did."

Alice shrugged but didn't say anything. We sat quiet for a while until the silence broke by the doorbell. Both of us sharpened our senses and listened for voices.

"Can I help you?" Esme's voice said from downstairs.

"I was just wondering if you've seen a redhead woman around here?" a familiar voice said.

"It's him!" I exclaimed and could suddenly smell his delicious blood. "Alice, it's the husband of the girl Edward murdered!"

We were both downstairs in an instant. I felt the venom fill my mouth at the sight of him, Harry was dirty and looked like he hadn't eaten in days. I fought the lust to attack him and suck all his blood out.

"Hello", said Alice with her singing voice. "You look tired, why don't you come in and have a cup of coffee."

"Thanks, but I was just wondering-"

"-I insist", Alice said and dragged Harry in to the house.

I watched her settle him down at the kitchen table from the shadows of the threshold, not daring to be too close to him. It was difficult to be near him, to feel his scent creep inside my nostrils and fill my body with desire. Alice poured him a cup of coffee and sat down next to him.

"You're not from here, right?"

"No, England." He took a sip from the hot drink.

"What are you doing in America then?"

"I…" he hesitated.

"I noticed you had a wand, you're a wizard, right?" Alice said casually as if she was talking about the weather. "I'm familiar with a lot of creatures in the world."

"Oh. Well, I'm here together with my wife to talk to the werewolves. Our foster son is half a werewolf and he's showing strange signs, like he's about to change when he gets angry rather than at full moon. We heard about this tribe up here in La Push and decided to go ask them for help with our son. But…" he looked like he was about to start to cry. "My wife's gone. I've searched for her for days and I can't find her."

Alice looked at him with pain in her eyes. She caught my eyes where I stood and winked for me to come in. I took a deep breath and entered the kitchen.

"You", Harry said and looked at me, "I met you in the woods! You tried to kill me!" He rose to his feet with his wand ready. I held up my arms in defense like if he was holding a gun.

"I'm not going to do anything. I know what happened to your wife."

"You do? What, have you seen her? Where is she, is she safe?"

"Please sit down", I said and took place opposite Alice at the table, "sit down and I'll tell you."

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

**_Chapter 6_**

"I don't get it, what's he doing?"

"He's crying, Bella."

"Do you think he'll try to kill himself?"

"No, he's just sad. His wife's dead, remember?"

"Maybe you should go in and check on him instead of spying on him from a tree in the garden, Alice."

"_You_ should go talk to him. You were the one who was there when it happened."

"But… what if I'm not able to resist? What if I kill him Alice?"

"You won't." She smiled. "I saw that you won't."

I smiled back at her and walked into the house from the tree through an open window. I reached for the door handle to Edward's room. With a last look at Alice I opened the door and stepped inside. Harry was sitting on the sofa with his shoulders slumped, his eyes all blank.

"Hello."

He looked up at me, his eyes pained.

"Hi Bella."

I walked over to him and sat down in the sofa next to him. I bit my lip when venom filled my mouth and thought about what Alice had said. _I won't kill him, everything will be fine._

"He let his senses take over", I said. "It wasn't his intention to kill her."

"No, but he still _raped_ her. He's a murderer."

I'd tried to tell him that Ginny had agreed to it, had welcomed Edward with open arms but he wouldn't listen to that. I sighed and took his hand in mine, fighting my body that urged me to bite him. His intense green eyes and shiny black hair almost made me go light headed. _Come one, Bella, _I thought in my head, _snap out of it. You don't want to kill him, he deserves to live. You can't talk to him, feel him, if he's dead._

"I'm glad I have you", he said suddenly. "That someone is there for me."

"Edward hurt me too", I mumbled sadly.

"We're both hurt", he stated.

We sat quiet for a while. I played with my hair and observed him out of the corner of my eye. God, he was sexy! He rested his head in his beautiful hands and sighed.

"I guess Carlisle told you about the werewolves in La Push", I said.

He nodded. "I can't believe we came all this way for nothing. I really thought Teddy could be like the werewolves here but when Carlisle said he had looked into it and said that he couldn't under any circumstances be… I've lost all hope for life."

"Don't say that."

"Come on, look at me Bella! My wife is dead and my foster son is acting strange and I don't know what's wrong with him! I'm stuck in America because I can't go home and tell Ginny's mum that her only daughter is dead. She's already cried her eyes out because she lost a son in the war."

"Harry", I said with compassion, "I'm so sorry…" all I wanted to do was to hold him and never let go. Was it impossible for the two of us to take comfort in each other?

"That's not all… I think Ginny was sleeping around."

"_What?!_"

Harry nodded unhappily. "We kind of drifted apart after the war and I often caught her staring at handsome blokes. There have been rumors that she hexes men to sleep with her. She's a very talented witch. Or, I mean, she _was_ a very talented witch…"

He sobbed hard but I didn't paid attention to him anymore. What he just said would've made my heart beat fast if, you know, it was actually beating. If Ginny liked to hex men to like her… maybe she had hexed Edward. Maybe he was telling the truth all along. Maybe she had died because she had hexed Edward and hadn't thought about the fact that he was a vampire which means he's strong as hell and let his senses take over and pushed too hard.

I walked out of the room in daze and found Alice outside where she'd been standing and listened to our conversation. I could see in her eyes that she thought the same thing I did.

"We must talk to Edward", she said, "honestly Bella, I think he was telling you the truth all along. It all makes sense, he wouldn't have sex with some random redhead, he loves you too much."

"You're right", I said in a small voice, "I must go and find him. Alone."

I looked at her, my body filled with resolution, "I'm the one who has to fix this. See you around Alice."

And with that I spun around and ran from the Cullen house, just as fast and chocked as when I'd run to it.

* * *

There really are advantages of being a vampire. Searching after Edward in the woods went easier when I could run fast and didn't trip over my feet. There was no sign of him, however. I found the place where we'd put up the tent but it was gone. I searched for his scent in the air but couldn't smell him.

"Edward!" I called out hopelessly.

Where could he be? I thought about the last time we'd been apart, he had gone to Italy to try to kill himself… but he wouldn't do that now, right? He had thought I was dead back then. He knew I was alive now, it wasn't hard to guess that I'd been at the Cullens and he had probably talked to Carlisle to confirm that I was alright.

"Edward! EDWARD!"

I ran around the woods and shouted, afraid to come too close to Forks, fearing that I would hurt anyone if I was among people. Edward wouldn't be there anyway, he had probably found a forlorn spot somewhere on a mountain top. But where? It had never once struck me that maybe _he_ wasn't okay. After all it was _I _who had left _him_, telling him I hated him. My body ached in pain, what if he was broken and shattered? What if he refused to eat because he was unhappy?

"Edward!" I whimpered and sank down on the ground. I felt too weak to even stand, I wanted to rip my heart out for ever doubting him. He had walked through fire for me, devoted his life to protecting me.

I lay myself down on the cold ground in fetal position. Big drops of rain started to prickle my body, piercing me for what I had done. Without Edward I was nothing. I guess this was how it truly felt to be dead.

* * *


	7. Chapter 7

**_Chapter 7_**

* * *

"Bella."

Strong hands lift me up and I recognized Emmett's deep voice. He held me tight in his arms as he began to move, picking up speed and ran fast. I shut my eyes and let myself be carried away. Nothing mattered anymore.

Emmett brought me home. Alice opened the door for him when we reached the big, white house and he carefully walked inside collaterally. Alice released him from his muddy shoes and he took me upstairs, settling me down on Alice's sofa.

"She was lying on the ground in the middle of the woods", he said to her in a low voice. "Soaked wet."

"Bella", said Alice and stroke my hair, "talk to me."

I refused to even open my eyes, let alone talk. Alice sighed above me.

"Let's just leave her alone", said Emmett, "she's been through a lot."

I guess that Alice agreed because a couple of seconds later the door closed shut. I continued to lay motionless and for the first time since Edward changed me I wished that I could sleep. Drift away in unconsciousness.

I lay there for hours, dwelling in pain and wishing Edward was there beside me. I imagined his muscular body next to mine and feared to open my eyes to find that he wasn't there.

"Edward…" I whispered, "please come to me."

I lost track of time and have no idea of how long I'd been lying stiffly in the same position. I had no intention of moving, but involuntarily jerked when the door suddenly opened softly and I could easily tell who it was; the smell of fresh blood almost made my mouth watering. The voice that said my name was sweet and caring, but I still refused to move.

"Please talk to me, Bella. We need each other."

I could feel his breath on my chin, he must've knelt down to level his face with mine.

"Fancy to tell me what happened?" he said in my ear. I didn't respond.

A hand stroked my hair, continuing down my face. Soft fingers traced my nose, my cheek, my jaw line.

"Please talk to me." The plead was no more than a whisper.

My body slowly started to activate itself due to his actions, my stomach began fluttering and a yearning feeling spread inside my chest.

"If you don't want to talk to me", he said and sighed, "I guess I have to do this."

Suddenly his lips met mine in a soft kiss. I became so stunned that my eyes flickered open, as if I had to _see_ that it was Harry Potter who kissed me.

He smiled and pulled away. "That really made you open your eyes, huh?"

"I don't know what to say", I breathed. "You kissed me."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because…" he hesitated, " I think you're beautiful."

I couldn't believe it. My body urged me to pull him close, to kiss him and feel him in all ways possible. But I still wanted to suck his blood… was it this way Edward had felt when he first met me?

"You are beautiful too."

The words surprisingly came out from my mouth and before I knew it we were kissing again. I placed my hands on his cheeks and drew him closer and his palms found my hips. He pushed down his hips onto mine and it sent shivers down my spine.

"No Harry, stop." I pushed him away even though I felt very aroused. "We can't do this."

"Why not?" he said, his eyes looked hurt.

"This is wrong, don't you see? Even though I have feelings for you, it is Edward I love. And are you ready to get involved in a relationship so close after your wife's death?"

"I don't know", he said and nuzzled in my hair. "We don't know each other very well but I feel this… _attraction_ between us. You dazzle me, like I can't think straight."

His words were like a punch in my stomach. _You dazzle me_. Hadn't I said the exact same words to Edward before I even knew about his true identity? Did Harry feel the same about me that I felt about Edward?

Edward's voice was suddenly in my mind; words he had spoken so long ago that now made perfectly sense: _Everything about me invites you in; my voice, my face, even my smell._ I attracted Harry because I was a vampire and _he_ attracted _me_ because of his blood. The attraction must all be an illusion even though it felt so real.

"It isn't right for us to be together", I said. "What we feel is only lust – not _love_. Besides, I could hurt you badly if I'm not careful, I am so much stronger than you."

His mesmerizing green eyes bored into mine. "I guess you're right, I don't want to do anything I'll regret later."

I stroked his arm and smiled. "I would love to be close to you but…"

"… this is for the best", he said with a small voice. "Can I just... have one more kiss?"

"Yes, please", I urged and pulled him closer. This kiss was more intense, our tongues intervened and I licked his palate.

Suddenly I heard someone screaming and Harry was pushed away from me. He was thrown into the bookcase and knocked unconscious. I drew a grasping breath.

Edward was suddenly there, his fists clenched, his eyes on fire.

* * *


	8. Chapter 8

**_Chapter 8_**

**Next chapter will be the last one! Thank's to all the readers that have stuck with this story until the very end^^**

* * *

"How _dare_ you," Edward growled fiercely, "my family brought me home to see _this_?"

"Edward," I breathed, shocked. I didn't know what to do or what to say. Just seeing him again filled up the aching hole in my heart.

"I can't believe you did this," he said with a disgusted voice.

"No, Edward, it's not what you think!" I exclaimed, his fierce eyes making me scared. "He told me the truth, I believe you know, that you didn't had sex with that girl voluntarily."

"And this is how you show it? By kissing someone else?"

"No!" I screamed frantically. "I don't know what happened, I missed you so much so I went crazy and suddenly he kissed me and I didn't know what was happening and… and… Edward you have to believe me!"

I looked at him, my eyes begging. He showed no feelings of forgiveness and I thought he was going to walk away if Alice hadn't got into the room at that very moment.

"What are you doing?" she asked incredulously. "Why is Harry knocked over? And why aren't you two kissing and hugging in reunion?"

"Because Bella found someone else to kiss", said Edward, his voice ice cold.

"It was a mistake!" I cried, "I love _you_, not him! Please Edward!"

"Edward", said Alice quietly, "Bella is a newborn vampire and very confused. This is the first human she has met since she was changed and you know that you let your senses take over when that happens."

"She's supposed to want to suck his blood, not _kiss_ him."

"But that was what I wanted! I resisted because I didn't want to kill him, you've always told me that you regretted killing all those people you murdered. I listened to you and resisted! I thought that if I couldn't kill him at least kissing him would make me able to touch him and feel him…" I looked away, feeling ashamed.

"This proves that you are a very strong vampire, Bella", said Alice. "It took years for the rest of us to be able to hug or even shake hands with humans without killing them. Edward should be proud of you."

She looked at her brother and he frowned, she probably communicated with him with her thoughts.

"You believe it is that way?" Edward queried.

"I'm positive", Alice nodded. "Now, if you excuse me I think I'm going to take care of this guy. Did you have to be so violent?" she sighed and lifted up Harry in his arms without trouble and walked out of the room. He was still unconscious.

Edward looked at me. "Do you love him?"

"No, the only person I love is _you._"We stared at each other and I felt miserable. "I became a vampire so I could be with you forever. How much more proof do you need?"

Edward's topaz eyes met mine and I could see uncertainess in them. "You didn't trust my word and kissed another guy," he pointed out.

"You should have seen your face when you had se… got raped by that girl. You looked like you were aching with desire."

He winced as I said 'raped' but didn't say anything. Instead he reached out his hand and carefully palmed my cheek. I smiled at his touch and ached for him to come closer.

"Why don't we forget all about this and start over?" he whispered.

"That's a good idea. I… I really missed you," I confessed.

"Oh, I missed you too, Bella. More than you'll ever know."

He dragged me closer and the kiss that followed was intense, breathtaking. I closed my eyes and moaned in his mouth, placing my arms around his neck. He guided me backwards and we fell down on the couch, ripping each other's clothes off in rapid speed. I shivered with pleasure as he touched me and it reminded me of just how much I really loved him.

"Bella," his voice breathed in my ear.

"Edward…"

We writhed together in pleasurable sensations and barely heard Alice's voice calling distant from somewhere in the house:

"Hey! Don't have sex in my room!"

* * *

Later, as we snuggled together in the afterglow on Alice's couch (which we indeed had made love in), Edward told me that we had to "talk things through".

"Since the wizard and his wife came here we've been having a constant misery. I think we should tell Harry to go back to England."

"Probably," I said and bit my lip, thinking. "It'd be for the best."

"I can't bare the thought of you kissing him. Affection for human blood is a dangerous thing Bella. You might think you have feelings for him when you actually want to feed. When I turned you I promised you to never let you kill anyone. Having him around makes that promise much harder."

I leaned closer to him and kissed the tip of his nose. "I know," I whispered. "Why don't we just… go away. Leave everything behind and go for a vacation. Be together for ourselves." I was not the type of girl who ran away but everything that had happened made me want to.

"You're not strong enough, Bella. I don't think you're ready to be around humans just yet."

"Yes I am!" I insisted. "I _did_ kiss Harry without killing him, remember that."

"Actually…" Edward trailed and I saw a dangerous glimt in his eyes, "Harry could be quite useful. If you can show me that you can be close to Harry Potter without giving in to your senses I'm willing to trust you to be around humans."

"How exactly will I prove it?"

"Hmm, you're about to found out," Edward said, and the smug smile on his face almost made me worried.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Chapter 9**_

* * *

Everything doesn't end happily. Everything doesn't end satisfying. I had a feeling that my time with Harry Potter was going to end in a disaster. I was standing next to the bed were he slept, watching him draw even breaths. Edward was standing next to me, his eyes a bit narrowed, but apart from that he had a calm expression on his face. His hand rested on my shoulder, gripping it slightly, as if he was afraid that I would run away.

"I can't do this", I whispered, feeling uneasy.

Edward caressed my shoulder, leaning in to kiss my head. "You know you can. You kissed him without killing him, didn't you?"

I suddenly got the feeling of that Edward wanted to test me, in more than the way I thought, although I couldn't figure out how.

"But this is something entirely different."

"It's your call, I won't make you. But I will ask him to leave the first thing tomorrow and this is your only chance of saying goodbye."

I sighed, knowing he was right. I was just going to give Edward my decision when the bedroom door opened and Alice stepped inside, her eyes on fire.

"Don't do this Bella", she said fiercely. "You have no idea what you are getting yourself into. I had a vision. And… it was sick. Bella , I'm begging you, don't go through with this." She turned towards her brother. "You are one sick person, you know that?"

Edward grinned a wicked smile. "I'm only doing this for Bella. If she can manage this I am willing to let her be among humans."

"This is not the best way to prove that – "

" – it's not you decision to make – "

" – come on Edward, don't you realize how sick this is?"

"_I will do it."_

They both turned their heads and looked at me. Perhaps Alice saw the determination in my eyes, because she didn't try to make me change my mind.

"Fine. But just so you know, if I hear _anything_ that sounds like you're out of control I will get Emmet and we'll blow up this door and _drag_ you away from here."

She walked away from the room without waiting for me to respond, and I could sense her anger in the way her shoulders were drawn up high and her back stiff. I felt sorry for Alice, but at the same time I wanted to do this, wanted to show Edward I was strong enough to leave. He had talked about an Island, a private one that perhaps only the Cullen's knew of, a place where he wanted to take me. There seemed like there couldn't be a better time to go than now.

I met Edward's eyes and he gave me an encouraging smile. I turned my attention to the sleeping creature in the bed. He hadn't so much as winced during the time we'd been in there; we had been speaking too low for his human ears to hear. I slowly pulled down the comforter and his body was exposed, a blue pajamas covering his skin. I let my hand touch his chin. It was hot underneath my palm and I could feel his blood pulsating in his veins. For a moment I wanted to crush my lips against his, but decided against it. _I love Edward_, I said to myself, _that's why I'm doing this. So that we can go away and be together forever_.

My hands fingered on the buttons of his pajama shirt, slowly rebutting them one after one. His chest was marvelous, and as soon as I had gotten his jacket open I stroked my hands over his chest.

Edward made a noise behind me, and I quickly removed my hands. It struck me how hard this must be for him, seeing his girlfriend touch another guy. I swallowed as I tugged on Harry's pants, urging them down. He was wearing striped boxers underneath and squirmed a little in his sleep when I stroked his thighs.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked softly.

"I'm fine", I whispered

Even though Harry's warm blood made my mouth water I felt that I could handle this. I let my hands slip underneath the waist of his boxers and gently pulled them down. As his naked body was exposed I suddenly felt a bit uneasy. Maybe I could resist biting him, but would I dare to touch him with Edward in the same room?

"Help me", I begged Edward, not really knowing what I wanted him to do.

"_I've_ never touched another guy", he answered stiffly. "You've been with me plenty of times, you should know what to do."

"But this is not _you_", I insisted. "And he's sleeping. I've never pleasured a sleeping man before. I haven't pleasured _any_ _other_ man before. This was all your idea."

"What are you saying Bella? That I should blow him?"

An image of Edward leaning down over Harry and taking him in his mouth crossed my mind, and I quickly erased the picture. "Of course not. I just… don't know if this was such a good idea."

"I thought you wanted to be with him."

"I had a desire for him. For his blood."

"But instead of biting him, you kissed him."

I whirled around, standing beside Edward in just a blink of an eye for any human.

"What?" he said innocently.

"You know that I wouldn't be able to go through with this." I looked at him, suddenly everything fell to place. "You wouldn't ever let me have sex with another man, but you proposed this idea only because you knew that I was too much of a coward to go make this deed. You knew that I only desired his blood and once I managed to resist biting him I wouldn't feel any affection, no romantic feelings I mean, for him."

Edward's beautiful eyes smiled, and he took my cheeks in his palms. "I know you better that you do yourself Bella. I wanted you to find out this on your own, wanting you to understand the difference between love and desire. When I first met you I wanted to rip you into pieces and drain your blood. But I resisted, and my love for you remained. You resisted this wizard, and now you don't feel any love. It's as simple as that."

I looked into Edward's eyes, feeling that I wanted to cry. I hugged him tightly and the kiss that followed was intense.

"I can't believe all this that have happened", I said when we finally drew apart. "We met a witch and wizard, we both cheated on each other, you accidentally killed a girl and I thought you didn't love me anymore. It's too much to handle."

"I know", he nuzzled in my hair. "Vampires and magical humans aren't the best combination."

We watched the sleeping Harry, and I pulled the comforter over his body, not wanting to see him naked.

"I feel sorry for him though – that he must go back to England without solving the mystery around his God son and that his wife is dead. She probably has some family who'll be really sad", I said.

"Yes, but I think he will manage. He seems to be a tough guy."

Edward and I kissed again and I sighed happily against his chin.

"Could we still go away?" I whispered.

"Well… there is this Island that I really want to show you. It's the most beautiful place in the world. We'll be all alone there, so I wouldn't need to worry about you wanting to eat any humans. It is just the journey to get there that worries me. You can still be tempted."

"Where is it?"

"Just off the coast of Rio."

"We'll take your car and drive, then. We'll only stop in the middle of the night, in woods, far away from people. We'll be careful, and I promise you I will do my best not to eat anyone." I smiled teasingly as I said the last sentence, knowing that Edward would protect me from attacking any humans."

"You know how long time it will take to _drive_ to Brazil?" Edward said and frowned.

"Well, if there's one thing we got, it's time. It's not like we'll grow old on the way. If we pack now, we can be on our way before dawn."

"Yes", Edward said, and kissed me. "Let's do it. Come on, we'll tell Carlisle and the others first."

He led me out of the room to the room and I happily followed him. Before the door closed behind us, I looked at the sleeping Harry. What would he do when he woke up and found us gone? Would he go back to England and just continue living his life. Would he mourn for his wife in all his life?

"Edward, wait", I said and made him stop. "Don't you think that we might… um, spare… Harry a life of misery? How will he cope with his life? We don't have to, you know, drink…"

Edward frowned. "Are you saying that we should _kill_ the person that's lying in that room?"

"Yes. I think it will be for his own best."


End file.
